Day 291

 December 26, 2020

The Last Supper. The Last of the Mohicans. The Last Picture Show.

The Last time I saw Paris. The Last Detail The Last Starfighter.

These are stories, events and films. You are about to read the last blog of...2020.

As we look back on this past year it will be strewn with many disappointments, an unprecedented time where days became weeks and then months of fear, frustration and emotion. We sighed. We cried. 

We lost time, opportunity and human lives. Too much of everything was lost. We stand now on the precipice of a new year and much is still unclear. How long will the pandemic last? How will the vaccine affect the spread of this virus?  The novel coronavirus, labeled COVID-19, which has devastated our social, economic, physical and psychological lives and have given many of us pause for concern of our future world.  The virus came into our world one year ago this month. The gift we never asked for during the most giving time of the year.

During the course of the year 2020 we endured a series of lockdown restrictions ranging from shelter at home to hybrid models of social-distanced interaction. We endured protests and riots after another person of color was unnecessarily killed by a police officer. The world continues in a state of unrest in regards to racial and social equality. The protests went on for weeks and although time can heal; the pain and fear continues for many. The inequality is everywhere. The pandemic was no different as the indigenous people of color and the impoverished were hit the hardest by the virus. Many continued to work in-person and risk infection as essential workers were asked to continue moving products, serving and maintaining status quo as the world around them worked from home and/or had remote access to continued employment. 

We endured a heated presidential election ending in a switch of parties and not surprisingly it came with more protest, more riots and accusations of ballot tampering. A division within one of the strongest in the world, which like many others has failed to control the transmission of the virus.

Many countries have buried thousands of people. Many are still on restriction. Many are still in a  remote learning model, hampering educational systems around the globe.  Many are still in debate over mask wearing and the proper strategies suggested to slow and even stop transmission of the virus.

During the month of March an official pandemic announcement sent the world reeling.  Most schools immediately closed and professional sports were suspended as were many other large gatherings.  Production and distribution was temporarily halted as experts collected intel on what the virus was and how it can be transmitted.  Eventually bans were lifted and modified restrictions were put in place, but life was still quite different and many were still infected leading to too many deaths. The summer promised us more outdoor activities and a relief in regards to the number of infections and deaths. And although this was true the second wave came as predicted and the fall and winter months saw a record number of infections and deaths. Currently the world has experienced 80.2 million infections and suffered 1.7 million deaths. 

So 2021 is days away...

Every new year brings with it hope and resolution. And this year, more than ever. has people praying for the days of yore (well not too long ago-but it feels like forever since this pandemic began). 

Let us all hope this year, 2021, brings us some new stories, events and films such as...

The Last Patient, The Last Vaccine Shot Needed, The Last Lockdown, The Last Pandemic.

The Last of the Viruses.

Day 284

 December 19, 2020

A December to remember. Well, more like a year to remember. Nearly all of the year 2020 has been marred by the coronavirus outbreak and subsequent pandemic which has handcuffed the world and now taken over 1.6 million lives. As we grow closer to the end of the year we are inclined to reflect on the recent past and even sometimes the station that is our current life.  If you are alive and reading this, then in one way, it is a wonderful life. 

The iconic holiday film "It's a Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed and my favorite film noir femme fatale, Gloria Graham tells the story of all of us as we exist though the trials and triumphs of our lives. The film, produced in 1946, was initially a flop and when its copyright was not renewed it was broadcast for free and began airing frequently during the last few weeks of the year and thus became a holiday tradition. (NBC owns its rights and airs it every Christmas eve)

Jimmy Stewart was a WWII fighter pilot in the Army Air Corps and flew some 20 combat missions. Upon his return to Hollywood It's a Wonderful Life was his first film and since he was still grappling with the traumatic experiences of war and feeling of loss fellow pilots his emotional scenes where his character, George Baily, is breaking down and crying are all very real. 

The movie is about loss and pain and everyday failure and how many humans sometimes feel like they are at the "end of their rope". George Bailey turns to prayer and the answer to his prayer is an angel named Clarence who goes on to show George how wonderful his life really is even amidst the struggles and setbacks he has endured. As we all reflect on our lives, particularly this past year and how the pandemic has shaped and misshaped our living, consider all the wonderfulness in your life.

Beginning with life itself. Each and every day is a new opportunity to see, act and hope. 

See all the beauty life has to offer you, beyond the seasonal lights, there is natural beauty (like last nights moon) and imperfect beauty (the human body and its intricate workings).

Act in a way that manifests your deepest desires for love, joy and self-worth and then act as if every human you interact with is someone of value. This mortal life is fleeting and frail and we must not forget our time on this earth is limited. Cherish yours and the lives of others.

Hope for all of your wishes and keep hoping (and praying-if you are disposed to do so).

Never let the light go out on your dreams. 

Even beyond this life. Your memory will live on in others. 

Take this time to recall those souls which touched us and moved us in ways we will never forget. 

The dearly departed are with us still in our heart of hearts.

Loved and preserved. 

For the eternity of our lives they live on.

And let us recall the people, we may not know, but we are linked with indelibly everyday as we proceed through these challenging times. The essential workers. Those in day care and nursing homes. Those doctors and nurses caring for our brothers and sister struck with COVID-19. The grocery store workers and all those who continue to supply us with our daily needs. They are amazing humans doing what it takes for all of us to see this through.

May this years end bring you joy and tears and hope 

in a way that inspires you to endure and be more human than you ever thought possible. 

To care and love and cry.

To live and love and laugh.

To be alive.

Day 277

 Saturday December 12, 2020

It is with anticipation and trepidation I await the arrival of the vaccine to the United States. My reasons of anticipation ought to be obvious as we all long for the life we lived prior to the pandemic and the vaccine offers us a great hope for controlling the virus and its prodigious spread. The fear I hold onto is because of the way the pandemic has divided our country and it will continue to be evident as the vaccine becomes available. I believe many people in the U.S. will not vaccinate and the divide will continue as those that long to heal this country will be combatted by the unbelievers and such who did not care to help quell the virus from the onset. Also, it is a matter of the unknown. What side effects will the vaccine bring? Will enough people take it to eradicate the virus within a few months or will the process take longer?

Questions. So much uncertainty. Yet we have hope. And that sure feels good as we approach the new year.

Recently I read an article about Brooklyn and how it has changed through the years. Incorporated in 1834 by the Civil War it had grown to the third largest city in America. A century later it was barely a functioning borough of New York. As neighborhoods began to fall from poverty and crime the nail in the proverbial Brooklyn coffin was the closing of the Navy Yard in 1966. Some 12,000 jobs were lost and many fled to the suburbs leaving behind a Brooklyn ripe for decay. Of course it survived and went through many changes as different ethnicities moved away, gangs dissolved and crime brought under control. The modern movement has brought in a younger clientele and the gentrified Brooklyn we know today is thriving.  The following photos are from Brooklyn in the 1960's. 

1. A diverse neighborhood with a Jewish deli, Chinese restaurant and Italian pizza place side-by-side

2. The workers of the Navy Yard give a thumbs down to the potential closing

3. Two New York Yankees visit neighborhood kids.

Reading of Brooklyn made me think of Walt Whitman, raised in Brooklyn, but born on Long Island, the great poet of his time and beyond. He self-published Leaves of Grass in 1855 and the second edition included the poem "Crossing Brooklyn Ferry". Whitman was a volunteer nurse during the civil war and later a printer, editor and of course writer for publications such as the Brooklyn Daily Eagle, the Crescent (in New Orleans) and the Brooklyn Freemen. It is Leaves of Grass, Whitman's view of the world as he sees it, in which we are given 32 poems of Americana. One, I sing the body electric, deeply explores the physical body of man and woman. Whitman also explores purpose and one phrase states, 
"Each has his or her place in the procession.
(All is a procession, the universe is a procession with measured and perfect motion.)"

We are sometimes in need of reminding what is our place in this universe and how we ought to go about pursuing or spreading our dream to our fellow humans. Pass on to one another cheer, love and the treasures you know to be talents. Build one another up. Praise those that bring you joy when they sing, dance, teach or inspire you to be more than just the a sacred body, but indeed an integral part of this perfectly measured procession of life. Here I am under the Brooklyn Bridge in 2013.

 

Day 270

 December 5, 2020

There is so much going on as the entire world population braces for the holidays, the flu season, and the dead of winter while also anticipating the long-awaited COVID-19 vaccine. 

Both  Pfizer and Moderna have developed adult vaccines and many people are awaiting the public release and distribution.  As of this writing, Britain has given emergency authorization for the Pfizer vaccine and will begin distribution on Monday. The U.S. has stricter authorization guidelines and hopes to have the vaccine ready for distribution around mid-December.  A pediatric version is in the making, but it is complicated as children are usually not included in trials (Pfizer began trials in children aged 12 and up in October and Moderna is set to begin testing soon).  There are many who do not approve of testing on children and while that delays the distribution for the vaccine to school age children most experts agree that children do not transmit the virus as readily as adults

Nor do they typically show serious symptoms when they are infected. It seems this information and the fact that teachers will be some of the first offered the vaccine will in all likelihood mark the end of remote teaching starting in 2021.  Most school districts around the world are currently in either a fully remote model or a hybrid version. In the meantime experts are also predicting a massive surge in both cases and deaths in the U.S. by February if people do not take mask wearing and social distancing seriously.  This may scare school boards and district administrations from pushing for in-person education. All of this makes for a very controversial topic.  

We can only wait and see.

In other virus news the second wave of COVID-19 is streaking across the globe. Decimating the European nation and dampening the lives of those in the U.S. Hospitals are near capacity again and shutdown orders are once again in effect and the number of infections and deaths continues to reach mid-April numbers. The death total in the U.S. has exceeded 270,000 and as both infections and hospitalizations continue to rise it makes the coming weeks seem dreary. It appears this may go down in history as the worst holiday season ever. And for those who like to read you may want to look into good-reads-book-worst-holiday-ever

This graph tells the European story.

The first memorial for victims of COVID-19 is being constructed in New Jersey On the site of a former toxic dump, everything is legal in Jersey of all places.

In sports news, Rafer Johnson, the first Black captain of a United States Olympic team and a participant in the1960 Olympic games and gold medal winner in the decathlon has died at 86.

The NFL continues, but not without its COVID-19 cases, quarantines and game delays. We recently has a game on a Wednesday for the firs time in decades. Having bye weeks has helped but those are ending soon and the league will have to get more creative such as the case with mid-week games.  Due to the Wednesday game we will have a second MNF game and a Tuesday night game this upcoming week.

The Rose Bowl, a major college football game, will be played in an empty stadium on Jan. 1.

    

Day 263

 Saturday November 28, 2020

The day known in the United States as Thanksgiving is over.  From now on  I will call it a "day of thanks", but it will have little to do with a celebration of history. It will simply be a time to be thankful for what the universe has delivered to all of us. (or them.) The division of this so called United States has been separated by politics and issues around race, police action, and our American history.  

According to Psychology Today,  "In 2017, 44 percent of Democrats had an unfavorable opinion of the GOP, and 45 percent of Republicans and Republican leaners view the Democratic Party unfavorably. You can imagine that today, these numbers are likely even higher. Back in 1994, less than 20 percent in both parties held extreme negative views of the other side."

This has led to a country that questions one another and not in a inquisitive way, but in a damning way. In a manner that shows disrespect and hatred. In such a way that the country was on a watch list for potential violence after the presidential election. 

Violence after an election?  

Bipartisan thinking is not in favor these days.  It is clear there are two sides. 

Republican and democrat. Liberal and conservative. Blue and red. Us and them. 

Us and them is a song recorded by Pink Floyd in 1973 and appears on the album "Dark 

Side of the Moon" The year 2020 has brought light to these lyrics. As you read them, remember all this year has brought to both us and them. 

Us and Them

And after all we're only ordinary men

Me, and you

God only knows it's not what we would choose to do

Forward he cried from the rear

and the front rank died

And the General sat, as the lines on the map

moved from side to side

Black and Blue

And who knows which is which and who is who

Up and Down

And in the end it's only round and round and round

Haven't you heard it's a battle of words

the poster bearer cried

Listen son, said the man with the gun

There's room for you inside

Down and Out

It can't be helped but there's a lot of it about

With, without

And who'll deny that's what the fighting's all about

Get out of the way, it's a busy day

And I've got things on my mind

For want of the price of tea and a slice

The old man died

The separation of our nation has much to do with the lack of communication between parties and people. We are interested in like-thinking individuals (us) and are not open to the ideas of others (them). This leads to speculation of thought and misbeliefs. We cannot know the views of others unless we listen to them and understand them.  We may not always agree, but we can understand perspective and have empathy, a trait this country is desperately lacking.  

In his poem, The Evening-Watch: A Dialogue, Henry Vaughan writes in the first verse," Farewell! I go to sleep; but when The day-star springs, I'll wake again." 

Let all of us each new day be open to what we listen to. Let us extend our thinking beyond what we know well. Let us see others and their human perspective even though it may not be of our own ilk. 

We all have a role to play in this life. Will we be remembered? Will our life be memorable? Maybe it already is and maybe it is yet to be. As Sigmund Bloom said, “This story of life has already been told. The book has already been written. It’s up to you to choose which character you want to be in that story.”

Every day is a new chapter in your life and an opportunity to be the character in the story that is your life. Be it for a few or for many. Your words and existence have meaning, influence (great or small) and voice. The unique voice that is your own. May it be a voice of reason and understanding. A heartfelt voice of love and compassion and hope. Although our hope may be in the future, the love and compassion are for today. 

Be present and acknowledge people.

Listen and learn. 

Bring us and them together as one. 

Day 256

Saturday November 21, 2020

I am presently sitting on the couch drinking my usual morning coffee. With Pucci, our long hair dachsund, staunchly lying beside me I begin the quest of writing down not only my thoughts, but an account of the last week. Yesterday we finished remote teaching and look forward to a week off. The vacation time comes with no travel, no family and no celebration. It is a time for us to relax and refuel.

A time to think solely of ourselves while being thankful for those we love and help those in need. This season for us has become less about tradition and more about condition. The situation we find ourselves and how we can be benevolent.  The current reality is we are healthy and fortunate to be working during the pandemic. While much of the world spars with the virus and the rising infection rates, the U.S. is faring no better and in some ways worse. 

The number of confirmed coronavirus cases in several U.S. states is growing more rapidly than anywhere else in the world. Dante learned in The Divine Comedy to escape hell one must go through the center of it. I suppose as we journey through this pandemic we are in the center of hell and must proceed through it in order to exit.  The suffering will continue.

The nation of the United States of America is in trouble. The divide in this country has caused a separation of thought and cohesiveness.  Our divided states has brought about carelessness instead of unity.  We struggle because we do not care. The pandemic has played its part, our government has a role and so do all of us. We have fought and tried to remain diligent in our fighting, but we have failed. We have failed each other. We will continue to do battle with this coronavirus, but ultimately it will win the war. In fact it already has to the point of 250,000 lives lost.  Humans are survivors and those that live will move on and make adjustments to survive, but the losses will be many and the pain will be much to bear. The holidays will not be the same. The joy will be tinged with a scent of sorrow and hopelessness as we move deeper into the winter and the discontentment that comes with loss. 

So as I sit and write and try to remain present knowing the concepts of past and future have little meaning to the persistent flow of thoughts streaming in my mind. It is verily an ongoing quandary of how we separate the "I" from the "me". Alan Watts, says, "the truth is revealed by removing things that stand in it's light..." and I perceive unawareness as a darkness shrouding our present mindfulness.

Alan Watts describes the mind and it's inability to stop thinking. We think thoughts that are not present and thus those thoughts cause anxiety or fear or pain. Even a joyful thought of our past is really just a piece of our present because we are thinking of it now. And the memory may be cheerful in nature, it reminds us of what is not now and that can trigger sorrow.  In this video Watts explains the only way to stop the mind from thinking is to leave it alone. And thus by leaving it alone, "it will quiet itself" 

Alan Watts - The Mind

Day 249

 Saturday November14, 2020

In her book, Gift from the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh talks of the ebb and flow of relationships. It provided fuel to my thoughts of this current time in our lives.  How we have ridden the tides of this pandemic for days, weeks and months and have implemented strategies to stay sane and secure our humanness. We have been shut in, put out and inconvenienced for so long and with no true end in sight. 

Our hopes lie in a vaccine, one not yet created, in which we will not know the impact until massive distribution is complete.  Even then, we will be unassured of complete eradication of this coronavirus which has lived among us for so long. Like the popular game Among us, each of us could be the imposter carrying the virus and infecting others.  We crewmates must navigate this tenuous earth and with each day comes risk.  Some days are safe at home while others are days we feel more exposed. 

We venture through places where others abound and wonder who is a potential carrier. Everyday is an ebb and flow of feelings. Everyday is the ebb and flow of questions. Am I being safe enough? Should I go out today? When will we feel completely at ease? Will the imposter always be among us? 

The ultimate imposter being the virus itself, a parasite feeding off human behavior.  We like to be around each other. We feel the need to gather. We long for human touch. And with this innate desire the ultimate imposter is transmitted throughout the world. In the United States the infection is rate is skyrocketing in nearly every state. New mandates regarding lockdowns, curfews and gatherings are being put in place, yet the number of infections, hospitalizations and deaths continues to rise. A recent graph for the NY times shows alarming numbers.

We as a country have reported over 100,000 cases ten days in a row. And the world is faring no better as Italy, Poland, Russia, India and other counties are seeing an increase in cases.  Efforts are being made as many schools have returned to remote learning or will do so after the Thanksgiving break. 

Governments are putting curfews and mandates in place to decrease the amount of human contact, but it seems that enough people are not giving the effort needed. Many still do not social distance nor where a mask. Gatherings, parties and events are still taking place. In India, a five day Hindu festival, Diwali, will be celebrated beginning this weekend. 

People say, "life must go on. We have to live." 

This is something we have never experienced before and having our privileges and freedoms taken from us makes many of us defensive and rebellious.

Yet it comes at a cost. And I suppose some people are okay with that. We are a population of humans who are the same in configuration of cells and organs and senses, but in our minds we are diverse and it is with our thoughts and actions we tell our story. 

We all must playout this pandemic each in our own way. And thus the ebb and flow of it is intertwined with our daily decisions. For better or worse our humanism will be both our greatest triumph and our greatest failure. Here are the words of Anne Morrow Lindbergh, 

"We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom..."

Good Luck everyone. There is no doubt this pandemic will leave it's indelible mark on all of us.

May your god, spirit animal or universal subconscious be with you. 

Day 242

 Saturday November 7, 2020

The days are shorter, cooler and consistently more fall-feeling. As Maren would say it's sweater weather. She says this as an inside joke because I love sweaters. Here is a photo from 2012 during the filming of Sane in 1974. I am also sporting a moustache. This is November or Movember (which asks men to grow a moustache as a reminder to bring awareness to men's health)

I recently heard from my friend George that he has prostate cancer. He has some tests coming up that will help determine which steps to take (surgery, radiation treatment, etc.) He sounded encouraged that it could be controlled. I think about him and hope to visit with him soon. This pandemic is really making travel difficult. It is once again the fear of the unknown making simple decisions more strenuous.  This is, for many of us, the current reality. Each day brings with it a level of anxiety and uncertainty we are typically not accustomed to.  However with the pandemic going on for as long as it has (hello, day 242) this everyday anxiousness has become common. Simple tasks like going to the grocery store or work bring out some feelings of stress. As the number of infections continues to rise all across the globe we continue to feel the pressure. In some sense, we will all be lucky to escape this pandemic without being infected. For some nearly 50 million people who have been infected it has been real and for the 1.2 million who did not survive we mourn. The road to recovery can be long. I spoke with a person the other day who said a friend was infected in March and is still dealing with the effects of the virus.  Some reports say you may never recover to full capacity in an article from Hackensack Meridian Health, "For some who recover from COVID-19, symptoms like fatigue, shortness of breath, muscle pain, confusion, headaches and even hallucinations are among the growing number of issues survivors face following the illness." In the U.S. many states are seeing an increase in reported cases. In Colorado, the governor has issued a be home by 10:00 PM curfew to help slow the spread. 

On November 6th there were 132,540 new cases. Now onto some political news. It is not official, but it appears we will have a new POTUS beginning in January.  The polls are closed and the counting of ballots is still occurring. Presidential candidate Joe Biden is close to having the 270 electoral votes he needs to secure the win. He spoke last night and was eloquent and honest. He was a calming voice in these troublesome times. Our country is divided and may continue to be so until the new administration can completely move into the White house and begin to make the necessary changes for the healing of our country and it's people. We are hurting. We are a proud nation and sometimes that pride gets in the way of being human. It prevents us from thinking rationally and our actions can be downright unfathomable. There will be an announcement any day regarding the election results and already businesses in many major cities are boarded up in anticipation of riots and vandalism.  What kind of nation are we that we have to perform acts of violence and the defacing of public property over a decision made by a democratic society? The United States is in pain. We have been put through four years of unrest. Social unrest, civil disorder and a nation divided on important topics including the one to keep us all safe. And as I am writing this the Associated press has called the election. It is official Joe Biden has defeated Donald Trump to become the 46th president of the United States. 

And all I can say is Here we go America.

Day 235

 It is October 31, 2020. Halloween. And a scary time in all of our lives. Living with fear everyday. The novel coronavirus now known to all of us as Covid-19 has literally spread its pestilence around the world infecting over 46 million people while taking the lives of over one million souls. Lately the spread seems to be worsening as Europe and the U.S. are amid tougher restrictions to help stop the transmission of the virus. As flu season quickly approaches many people are anxious, fearful and downright scared. 

Halloween or everyday? That is a saying we use when we see people dressed up in costume during a time other than the two weeks leading up to Halloween, but it may be appropriate at anytime now. The fear lives in us all. The unknown possibilities of what the virus outbreak will be like in the middle of the flu season is approaching. And it could not have come at a worse time for those living in Europe and the U.S. as the numbers are increasing again back to May-like proportions.

According to USA today, "The U.S., now topping 9 million cases, on Friday posted a record number of case for a single day, 99,321, and a record 551,167 cases in a week."

And from NPR, "Europe reported more than 1.3 million new cases this past week, its highest single week count yet, according to the World Health Organization.

Spain and France each surpassed 1 million cumulative confirmed cases last week, becoming the sixth and seventh countries to do so globally. Italy, Germany, Belgium, the Czech Republic and the United Kingdom are also experiencing record numbers — threatening to overwhelm countries' abilities to test, trace and contain the virus."

In the words of  French Prime Minister Jean Castex said at a press conference when the new restrictions were announced. "The situation is grave." Indeed.

Trick or treat is no longer a choice. If only it were a trick, but the virus is indeed real and we are only able to contain it up to a point. Our hope lies in a vaccine, but even that answer is strewn with questions. Alas, we must keep on, keeping on (originally cited in a speech by MLK and used by  musicians Bob Dylan and Len Chandler)

We must not be lazy. We must continue to protect ourselves and others by wearing a mask, using social distance advice and adhering to the restrictions issued by our governing bodies. It remains to be seen how this winter will play out.  All we can do is play our role. Do our best to stay safe. And for tonight celebrate Halloween responsibly. Wearing a mask is all part of the fun anyway. 

In entertainment news, we lost the great Scottish actor, Sean Connery. He passed at the age of 90 years old last night. Known for his portrayal as Ian Fleming's James Bond he also won an Oscar for his role in The Untouchables. RIP Mr. Bond.

Day 228

 Sunday October 26, 2020

A decision was made Thursday evening by A.P.S. to pull the plug on the hybrid model after two weeks.  The increasing number of coronavirus cases in the Denver metro area and the potential exposures being reported inside several schools were the reasons for the move back to remote learning.  Just days prior to that decision we were told high school students, who had been remote since day one, will not move into the hybrid/in-person model.  The only amendment we did not anticipate was that pre-school and kindergarten will continue the hybrid model. The 1st-8th graders will remain remote until at least mid-November when another decision will be made.  So, there you have it- the experiment is over.   The hybrid model was the most intense as teachers were required to teach students in-person while also managing a group remotely. This teaching year has been some kind of experience. I imagine it will continue to be unpredictable and challenging through the remainder of the year. All because of a novel coronavirus which has taken the world by storm and surprise. And seven months into the pandemic we are still reporting record numbers. According to the Washington Post, "The United States reported more than 73,000 new coronavirus infections Thursday, its highest one-day increase since July. And over the past week, covid-19 hospitalizations have risen in at least 38 states, a trend that cannot be explained by more widespread testing." All this and flu season is creeping around the corner dressed in it's best death costume ready to deliver to us a Halloween we will never forget.

This year trick or treating will undoubtedly be curbed. The parties will be few. The visage of death and the virus will not be limited.  More than ever the human race is feeling defeated. There are some who are fed up. Some who are tired and being complacent. And some who are scared and feeling hopeless.

Some people in the world continue to view the virus either as a hoax or downplaying the severity (One such person, who shall not be named, said on a national broadcast "it's going away") This is the world we live in. The only predictable thing is the unpredictable future. We do not know what will occur once flu season is in full swing. We have no idea when education will look the same. When are unsure of the economy and the effect the pandemic will have on it, possibly for years to come. We cannot say when a vaccine will be created, issued and what sort of impact it will have on the virus. 

This seems to be one of the main factors in recent states of depression and anxiety: the unknown future (at least in regards to the pandemic and concurrent virus outbreak). Because it's not like we can ever predict the future. The Scientific American might disagree. Here's there take on the future, or at least some possibilities in the future. 20-big-questions-about-the-future-of-humanity/

We watched The Trial of the Chicago Seven last night. It is heavy, man. Be prepared for some shocking events that took place during the trial (which took several months). The movie provides us with an account of seven men tried with conspiracy and inciting a riot following the 1968 Democratic Convention. The convention took place in Chicago, Illinois amidst heavy police and National guard monitoring. The thousands of people who came to demonstrate against the Vietnam war and the government gathered in Lincoln Park. Many were part of several groups camping out, giving speeches  and organizing peaceful protests. Some groups demonstrating were the SDS, The YIP party and The MOBE and the Black Panthers. You can read more about them here:

1968_Democratic_National_Convention_protest_activity

Happy Sunday everyone. Take pleasure in the known. The things you have control of and simple pleasures of your daily life. The loved ones around you. The comfy chair you sit in to read. The favorite Sunday traditions that allow you some semblance of normal life. Enjoy life today.  

Day 221

 Sunday October 18, 2020

Today we voted. We are hopeful for change. We are hopeful the people who take office can make the changes needed in this country to help us re-establish our nation as one of diversity and unity. A nation which allows immigrants to arrive and thrive here as a true land of equal opportunity for all people. 

The world needs hope now more than ever with a pandemic known to the world as Covid-19 rifling through the planet and making life difficult for most and unbearable for others.  The novel coronavirus has infected nearly 40 million people and taken the lives of over one million.  The world will never be the same.  In our efforts to regulate we have sacrificed time and luxury. Many opportunities have been lost.

Many lives have been shattered. This past month has seen a second wave of infections hit the world and countries devastated early on (France, Spain and Italy) are being ravished again. In the United States the number of daily infections has increased in over 75% of our states. 

 The dire conditions many areas were in during the months of April to July are rearing again. All this as we enter the cusp of flu season. How will this virus and the flu react together? Little is still unknown and a vaccine is still months away.  The school district we currently work in has seen both exposures and positive cases in several schools.  The in-person hybrid model is four days old and only in elementary and middle schools. High schools are set to open this week, but with state infections on the rise and a multitude of quarantines it seems this may be the last week before all goes remote. The challenges of the hybrid model are many and our feeling is it may not have made the impact on those in-person students as hoped. Remote learning certainly is not the answer, but the safety of students and staff is and always should be the precedent. The superintendent will make a decision no later than October 22nd regarding the model we use in the coming months. Needless to say, education has been thwarted by this virus as much as our economy and travel industry if not more so because it affects our future population of working adults and potential world leaders.  Where will we be a year from now?

Maybe school districts around the world will move to year-round schooling to make up the gaps in learning?  Maybe a longer four-day work week with a remote-learning Friday will be the new standard?

It will certainly be interesting to see the world in one year and note the changes in an array of areas most assuredly what our government will look and act like. We are in need of a leadership with empathy and understanding for those less fortunate than the 1%. However, the U.S. is just one piece of a large global puzzle and many nations need reform and healing. The remaining few months of 2020 are a mystery for many reasons and let us hope the unwrapping of those unknowns will be wrought with a feeling of hope and relief rather than despair and pain. I voted today. I voted for change and hope for a better tomorrow. A better country. A better world. And a resurgence of caring persons who are unified for the good of all humans in the spirit of empathy and love.

In a effort to supply my readers with support I offer an article How to destress

I wish you all good luck and safety this upcoming week. 

Day 214

 October 11, 2020

Unbelievably, seven months into the pandemic the world health organization reported the highest daily cases of coronavirus. According to The NY Times, “The world recorded more than one million new cases of the coronavirus in just the last three days, the highest total ever in such a short span, a reflection of resurgences in Europe and the United States and uninterrupted outbreaks in India, Brazil and other countries.“

It does not seem fathomable that COVID-19 is increasing in number of cases instead of decreasing. It speaks potentially to two ideas, one how little we know about this virus and the lack of precautions people are taking in the world. Last week the POTUS tested positive for coronavirus and this week he is holding an in person rally with hundreds of people, at least masks were required. The situation for Trump is dire as in most polls he is losing to democratic candidate Joe Biden. 

As the situation in the United States becomes increasingly anxious (as cases are on the rise in many states)

the situation in India is even more so as the countries rural areas are being devastated. The number of cases in India is quickly approaching the U.S. total of 7.7 million. 

As many school districts have installed, Aurora Public Schools is moving into a hybrid model. This model allows for a small percentage of students to be in the building while other students join the class remotely.

The planning for this has been daunting and more than ever before this looks like a trial and error approach since there are several variables in motion. Internet connections, the limitations placed on remote learners, the unknown behavior of in person students under restrictions and lack of community with in person student-to-remote student. The reality is this is new territory for most of us. I am resigned to performing the best I can and adjust as necessary. I imagine the students at home will feel left out and disengage. We shall see how it goes. In the meantime if you are looking for reasons to be cheerful. Check out this website https://reasonstobecheerful.world/ it is engineered by former Talking Heads frontman David Byrne, an activist for positive change in the world, he is an influencer in not only the music world.

Enjoy the week and stay Safe out there.

Day 207

 Sunday October 4, 2020

The leaves are changing as the season turns to fall. The thrill and fear of summer is over. The pandemic continues in full force as the coronavirus known as Covid-19 continues to wreak havoc upon all people everywhere. The United States has taken an exceptionally sever hit as over 200,000 Americans have died from the virus. In the most recent and least shocking news the POTUS has tested positive for the virus. Trump and several cabinet members are seeking treatment after testing positive for Covid-19 on Thursday and Friday.  One month away from election day and two days after the first presidential debate and the nation spins more into a frenzy. 

The spring and summer months had coastal and major cities across the U.S. fighting desperately to keep Covid-19 under control.  And although these cities and regions have leveled off for the most part lesser populated states and areas are being affected now. Montana and the Dakotas as well as Wisconsin are being hit extremely hard with daily cases as the country continues see an average of nearly 44,000 cases a day. The cold and flu season awaits us next and the unknown marriage of the coronavirus with our seasonal flu is an awful scary thought. It will bring more than the usual Halloween tricks. All kidding aside this year of trick or treating is most likely on hold. Or at least unlike anything we have seen before.

The world outside of the U.S. is dealing with the virus in its own way and many are failing to control the outbreak.   The world seven day average is over 300,000 new cases. In the last seven days India has reported over a half a million cases. Countries such as Spain and France, two countries hit extremely hard early on are again suffering from large cases loads. Brazil and Russia continue to struggle as does Argentina and the U.K. Interestingly, mainland China where the virus originated seems to have the virus under control at this point and has done so for some time. Under 100,000 total cases and just over 230 cases in the last week. 

The NFL just into its fourth week of play has had several players and coaches test positive this week causing two games to be rescheduled. One in a few weeks and the other a few days. MLB started off with some early cases and subsequent rescheduled games, but has weathered the virus and is now in the heat of the playoffs.  One of the early affected teams, the Florida Marlins, are still in contention.  The magic kingdom bubble of the NBA has protected players and coaches and officials so far. No games have been postponed or cancelled and the NBA finals is currently in play as the LA Lakers and the Miami Heat are vying for the chance to call themselves champions (and in 2020 that is quite the accomplishment) 

Each and everyone of us fighting each day to stay healthy and deter the spread of the virus are champions in our own right. Protecting self and others from a potentially deadly and unknown entity is a thankless and stressful job. We all must continue to stay diligent and attentive to our actions and choices. Especially as the season of germs weighs down upon us we must remain cognizant of our daily selves and the affect it has on others. Be safe friends.  

DAY 200

 Sunday September 27, 2020

A month into remote teaching and six and a half months into a pandemic brought on by a novel coronavirus, COVID-19 has changed the way we live. This is the new normal. The mask wearing, social distancing, no concerts, parties or sporting events to attend. Minimal travel. Remote teaching and learning.

Strange times indeed, but as i said it is the new normal. This is not strange anymore, just sad. Our lives have been changed and not for the better. Over 30 million people infected and over a million killed by an invisible and deadly virus transmitted by us. It is like something of a science fiction story yet all very real. We continue to fail in our defense against the virus. Particularly the U.S., but nations around the world are still seeing the virus spread. The numbers do not lie. Since July 15 the world has reported over 200,00 new cases daily and the seven day average is currently 296, 104. Yesterday the world reported nearly 333,000 new cases.The country of India is averaging more than 1,000 deaths a day.

The U.S. is not far behind with over 5,000 deaths in the last seven days. The Washington Post reports that our college age people are continuing to spread the virus as this article tells:

"New research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that young adults who catch the virus may seed waves of infection that travel up the generations, infecting middle-aged and then older people." 

And this photo shows:

Also, doctors are finding a new side effect to the virus is hair loss. Which seems to be tied to the bodies psychological defense of the virus, in other words the stress of job loss, deaths of family members or other COVID related anxiety. (such as the fear of contracting the virus)

In preparing for a hybrid model of learning in which some students will be in person while others learn remotely. The following information from the Washington Post is interesting and relevant:

"Only about 100 children and teens have died of covid-19 in the United States — a minuscule rate that still baffles scientists more than half a year into the outbreak."

And yet they can still be carriers and that is a scary proposition as we get set to see them in person in two weeks. Of course, masks are required at all times and social distancing is in place and will be enforced, yet the risk remains. The anxiety grows. The pandemic continues. The new normal is only new, but certainly not normal.

Day 193

 To be able to watch NFL games and other professional sports is something that helps bring a sense of normalcy to our world. Even if the stadiums are empty and the seasons shortened.

Watching athletes perform at the highest level has always been something I have enjoyed.

Since March 12, 2020 there really has not been much enjoyment only cancellations and infections and deaths. The world sits in a position where over 30 million humans have been infected by the novel coronavirus known as COVID-19 and now closing in on 1 million lives lost.  The US continues to lead all countries in both totals (cases and deaths). The nation continues to be embroiled in a partisan fight for what is safe as many Americans choose not to where masks as our POTUS chose not to do while others are maintaining social distance and trying their best to keep themselves and others safe from transmission. It is unbelievable to me that a virus transmitted most effectively by humans continues to crush us even though the defense is three simple tasks, where a mask, keep your distance and regularly wash your hands. 

This graph tells the story of our failure.

Over six months later and we are reporting nearly 300, 000 cases daily.  The virus will not just go away and a vaccine however close or far away one is is not full proof. 

This week we mourned the death of a great woman, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the former supreme curt justice lost her battle with cancer and passed away at the age of 87.

A true carrier of the flame of independence and perseverance.  She overcame many obstacles to reach goals and accomplish greatness most people only dream of.  You can find her inspirational advice for living here: RBG-advice-for-living-a-full-life

Be inspired to achieve the goals and dreams you desire. Nothing in life is guaranteed, but having a growth mind-set can be helpful in finding the answers to many questions.  The biggest question being who am I and what is my purpose. Through your work and ongoing efforts, the help of others and the proper strategy anyone can achieve what they most desire. Some get lost along the way due to obstacles they cannot seem to overcome or falling into the trap of a fixed mind-set. You must be unwavering in both your conscious and sub-conscious thought. These tools enable you to tap into the universe and from there many opportunities can come to you. Be ready and daring to take them. Fear not! 

Day 186

 September 12, 2020

Quote by Jack Kerouac: “Be in love with your life. Every minute of it.”

Living life is loving life. The want, the passion, the thrill and the simplicity of it. Going through the every day chores and monotony is not living, it is just the part of existence that is required in order for us to truly enjoy living life in the ways that bring joy, excitement and anticipation to our soul. 

To be honest the last several months since the pandemic was declared and we were given stay at home orders, travel bans were in effect, social distance was suggested and all the fun was taken from us we have had to get creative. Humans designed their own versions of fun living. There were so may amazing people sharing their talents with the world. One of my favorites was Sophie Ellis-Bextor and her kitchen disco!

Here she is in all her glamour with her lovely voice singing pop songs and classics from her kitchen. 

Kitchen Disco Episode 3

Yet even now after all these months and many people are back to work in some way. The novelty of creating our own fun has lost its appeal. We want to go see live music and live sports and visit the art museums and movie theaters. We miss the trips to the library and our favorite cozy coffee shop or book store. This pandemic is wearing on us, but we must persevere. That is what we do as humans. The struggle has always been real. The triumph over tragedy is a human way of life. To press on. To continue to strive to live you best life. (or your okayest life as I saw on a tee shirt recently).

It is now our charge to find the living within the life mundane. The quiet moments when you are reading.  The love moments when you are looking into the eyes of your significant other, the one person in life that gives you great joy. The subtle moments on a walk when you are in touch with the world.

The exuberant moment when you complete a workout and you are breathing deeply and your muscles ache.  The simplest moment of lying in your bed knowing who you are and what you want.

The artist Keith Harring struggled much of his life with this quandary as I imagine many people do both young and old. Truth be told it is not an easy answer to find. Harring, when he was 19, wrote in his journal, "I don’t know what I want or how to get it. I act like I know what I want, and I appear to be going after it — fast, but I don’t, when it comes down to it, even know.

He eventually found it through art. The creation of art for other people brought him the joy that enabled him to find love of life and love of self. By the end of his life he was able to accept it all, the life, the pain, the death, the embodiment of existence. Harring found success and despair during the eighties, a decade of time in which he became a known to the world as a talent, but also saw AIDS take the lives of many of his friends and eventually his life as well. Near the end he accepted the fragility of life and the mystery of life to a degree which resonates with Albert Camus’s insistence that “there is no love of life without despair of life.”

Through our lives it is up to us, the individual to seek and find our path to love through despair. Life is fleeting and fragile and thin. It is there for a time in which we do not know the length. A short poem, a long novel, a short film and episodic series, a postcard, a mural. A life few will see or the world will know. No matter. Your life is yours and it will never be repeated or replaced. Each of us has the unique ability to life and love. And we never really know ourselves because we are always seen through the eyes of others. We are made up of the perspectives and opinions of those we meet and impact.

How will you leave your soul stamp on others? How will you be seen and remembered? 

Embrace life and share it so others may see you as you have never seen yourself. 

Day 179

 When I wrote in my blog last week the world had reached 25 million cases of coronavirus and 847,000 deaths. In one weeks time we have transmitted and verified 1.9 million more cases, but unfortunately only a few thousands deaths. The total stands around 880,000 on Sunday afternoon. 

It is safe to stay nothing has changed. Last night on our way to pick up dinner we saw many people walking around the streets on their way to here or there. A bar/club we passed had folks spilling out the door and waiting in line. Mostly people under 30. Most were wearing masks, but who know what the situation was inside. With people drinking I highly doubt they are masked. I have no idea of the ventilation in this place. This is happening all over the world. The youth of today spreading the death of tomorrow. Since the re-opening of college campuses. 

"many across the country have seen an increase in coronavirus cases in recent weeks as students return for the fall semester. The potential spread of the virus off-campus has deeply affected workplaces, schools, governments and other institutions in local communities. In the U.S., at least 51,000 coronavirus cases and at least 60 deaths from the virus can be traced to American colleges and universities..."

The U.S., Brazil, India, Argentina and Spain continue to be hotbeds for the virus.  This chart explains the last seven days.

 With Brazil and the U.S. having over 250,000 new cases in one week it is awfully apparent neither country has leadership tasking the pandemic seriously. The lack of control in the U.S. is rampant as the numbers indicate. In the case of India (with over 550,00 new cases in one week) it is a matter of space and population. There is no place for the people to go, to quarantine to stay socially distant. 

We are currently in a remote school system where all kids are home and staff are either teaching from home or from their classroom. The school hallways are eerily quiet. On Friday, Maren was one of only three adults in her building. We are anticipating a switch to a hybrid format in the middle of October. All the details of this change have not yet been shared with staff and we are still a month away.

A lot can change in a month. I heard Colorado is the second highest tourist destination in the U.S. for Labor day weekend. First is Orlando, FLA.

"So, life goes..and so, I go...carry on my brother" -Neal Cassady (of the famed beat generation)

As Billy PIlgrim in Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five repeats each time he sees a person deceased, "so it goes"

And although this Billy Joel song is about loss of love. Some may say "loss is loss"...

Billy Joel- And so it goes

Day 172

 Sunday August 30, 2020

A year ago not many people would have imagined the condition we currently find ourselves in. The novel coronavirus which became COVID-19 and officially became a pandemic on March 12, 2020 has infected over 25 million people and has a death total nearing 1 million (it is around 847,000 as of today). India now has the fastest-growing coronavirus caseload of any country in the world, with more than 75,000 new infections per day. In the past week, India has reported nearly half a million cases.

Yet the world and all its inhabitants continue to disagree on very important issues such as mask wearing and social distancing.  The two most important defenses against a virus primarily spread through human transmission. I suppose people are either uninformed of the virus and how it is continually spreading or very opinionated about their rights not to help themselves and fellow Americans. There is hope for the "all saving vaccine" soon, but I imagine even that will be met with both controversy and repudiation. 

The United States is in the middle of a presidential election (November 2020) as both the Republican and Democratic conventions recently wrapped up. The nation is also still protesting and calling for social justice as police officers continue to make grave mistakes when confronting citizens even after the killing of George Floyd in May turned the country on its end. There are struggles in most major cities around both the control of the virus and social issues regarding civil rights and police enforcement. In Denver this week police ransacked homeless encampments and made several arrests.  My friend Peter shot this video of one of the raids.Denver Police raid on homeless encampment

Many major sporting events were cancelled due to the recent shooting of another black male, Jacob Blake, by a white police officer. The shooting led to protests and rioting which eventually resulted in a civilian shooting two protesters. 

In Portland, Oregon the protests against police brutality and racial injustice have gone on for three months and last night a group of protesters clashed with a Trump rally and one person was shot dead.

Our society is desperate for leadership on so may levels beginning with the top, but also at the state and local levels. 

When will this hell on earth end? Will the eradication of COVID-19 (whenever that happens) be enough to regulate the world? The anger and hatred will still fester. Changes in our world societal systems are needed. In a conversation with friends recently, someone mentioned the feeling of solidarity of around the world after 911. For a short time we felt the pain and the human suffering deep inside our hearts and every man, woman and child mourned the loss of life in a tragic event.

The terrorist attacks that September day manifested changes in the airline and travel industries. Are these tragic moments we are witnessing, although not on the same scale but still inhumane, not enough to evoke the changes we need to see social equality and more humane treatment of impacted people.

“The time of a man's life is as a point; the substance of it ever flowing, the sense obscure; and the whole composition of the body tending to corruption. His soul is restless, fortune uncertain, and fame doubtful; to be brief, as a stream so are all things belonging to the body; as a dream, or as a smoke, so are all that belong unto the soul. Our life is a warfare, and a mere pilgrimage." - Marcus Aurelius

 

Day 165

 Sunday August 23, 2020

It has been a week since my last entry.  We are one week into remote teaching and all is well.  By the end of the week things started to feel comfortable and creating a consistent and predictable classroom was helpful to both the students and myself.

I love the space I am teaching in and that helps a great deal. I have enough space and feel safely isolated while still being in the school. 

Of course it feels odd to be in a school without children, but hey are only a google meet link away. The students appear to be positive and engaged for the most part. I can tell some students are not comfortable of happy with their current circumstances and I feel for them.  This entire endeavor is not easy and the uncertainty of it all must be stressful.  Especially if much of your life operates on a day to day basis.  The pandemic becomes one more giant WHAT IF?

The fact is much of this is both in our control and out of our control.

We have the choice to protect ourselves and others through social distancing, wearing a mask and washing our hands regularly.  We have the option to socialize with certain people or not.  We can stay home if we need to.  It is the virus itself we do not have control of.  Where is it? Many carriers are asymptomatic and that is fearful.  The fact that it keeps spreading due to people who are not choosing the option to protect others.  The potential for this to last for many more months without a vaccine and even then the effectiveness of the vaccine is unknown.  Many questions and few answers.

This past week saw the democratic convention take place online and I suppose it fit with the times.

As Joe Biden and company are taking the stand that the incumbent POTUS has not done right by us and continues to fumble major issues such as the handling of the coronavirus, the social injustices surrounding Black Lives Matter and even the upcoming election (Post Office anyone?)

With the November presidential elections looming there is also a tension in the air because the election will ultimately affect the next four years.  Which will in turn determine how the country continues to respond to the virus as well as major social issues around Black Lives Matter and the United States police forces.  The education systems are bound to be impacted with decisions regarding safe practices involved the different models of teaching.  While the youth of our country are destined to be affected in more ways than one (socially, educationally, and economically) All of this and the pandemics' economic impact that has ramifications affecting us and the world around us, which also continues to ebb and flow with the virus and pandemic, they all want to see who will be the leader of the United States of America.   The state of our country relies on the leadership in office and we need strong leadership now more than ever. 

Both in Colorado and California wildfires continue to rage as the drought conditions and high temperatures are preventing firefighters from making any headway in containment as over 900,000 acres in California and over 200,000 acres in Colorado have been scorched. 

Sports are back in a remote and modified way with seasons being shortened and restrictions in place to keep both team personnel and players safe. Fans are safe since they cannot attend games. 

And although it has been enjoyable to have this brand of entertainment again it is not a panacea for our current woes. 

The world as we once knew it has changed and will continue to remain a distant and remote and virtual world for quite some time. The best we all can do now is hold our collective breath and wait as the world turns. 

Spinning World

Day 158

 Today is Sunday August 16, 2020

With the beginning of our 2020-21 school year starting officially and virtually this Tuesday I will be blogging only on Sunday. It will be an account of the events which occurred during the week. So friends enjoy today and we'll see you in a week. 

The pandemic continues to handcuff us in many ways, but we were able to enjoy pedicures and dinner out at La Cueva tonight. It is a pleasant break from the mundane when these small victories occur, but this pandemic always in the back of our minds, feels at times, never-ending.

Yesterday marked four years since we lost our beloved cat Cassady. How fast the time flies? Or does it? The six months of this pandemic are not flying by.

Which brings me to the concept of time. What is it really? It's truly something to wonder and a mystery that has evaded humankind for...well,.. all time. Are it's only constraints are the clocks we use to keep it? What would life feel like if we didn't keep time?  Would day and night have a difference besides the light the sun provides?

We have heard the expression before; time is of the essence. And it is an ever-relevant expression because time only travels in one direction, forward. So it is essential we utilize the time we have as it does run out for each of us at some point. Time can feel slow or fast, nonetheless it moves on in its relativity. 

According to young science journal, 

"Newton believed that the nature of time was independent of our existence; time has and will always exist." But then along comes Einstein and this,

"Einstein’s fundamental principle regarding time — there is no ‘right answer’, as there is no absolute conception of ‘now’ in absolute time and space. Einstein turned the whole concept of time on its head. The implications of his theory of having no absolute frame of reference changed the way physicists looked at the world, forcing them to renounce their Newtonian beliefs. If there was no concept of ‘now’, then the actions you perform tomorrow, and the days after that, already exist. The future becomes predetermined."

Put that in your pandemic pipe and smoke it!

(Shout out to Gandalf and middle earth fans everywhere) 

This is where the subconscious mind comes into play. Projected thoughts on what your future will be can be manifest by said thoughts and correct decisions made at the right time in your future. The universe will draw to you the opportunity to achieve your goals, the goals you crave with unwavering desire and continually work for, if only you see the risk and seize it. Because most people allow fear to prevent them from reaching their goals. They "live in quiet desperation" as Emerson said.

Earl Nightingale, a purveyor of positive thought, had two goals in life. One was to discover the secret to success the other was to write books. From a young age he wanted to know what made some people rich and others poor. (He grew up poor in Long Beach, California) You can read about his story here: https://www.success.com/earl-nightingales-greatest-discovery/

He discovered the secret in the words written by Napoleon Hill, in the book Think and Grow Rich. The words were "We become what we think about"

He went on to write books, the most famous of which is called The Strangest Secret. Aptly named because, he pondered, how could such a simple truth not be known by the vast majority of humans?

He concluded and observed that most people spend their time thinking about what they don't have (complaining) or once had (reminiscing). Instead they ought to be conjuring up their successful future (predetermined or not).