Day 298

 January 2, 2021

Two nights ago everyone in the world gave 2020 a high spirited send off. Our hope for a better year is needed more than usual after the year we struggled through. We all wish there was some magical way to transform this current year into immediate peace and normalcy, but the truth is we are still months from that reality.  

Our current reality is we are in a pandemic and barely in the early stages of ushering the vaccine to the public.

The health care workers and first responders have received the first of two shots and most states are continuing to create protocols for how the vaccine is distributed. There is much more than simple distribution as the vaccine is delicate and needs to be handled correctly and given properly. All this falls on the already taxed health care workers and requires patience and responsibility from everyone involved in either giving or receiving the vaccine.

We also recently have had a new strain of virus (first seen in the U.K.) that is now currently in a few states. 

There is also a matter of the new president being sworn into office on January 20th. 

This will require some adjustment time as the new regime puts into place it's vision for America. This not only includes controlling the spread of the virus and the vaccine distribution, but also the pandemic restrictions and everything else related to the pandemic. This will be several months of rolling changes as the vaccine begins to reduce numbers and people begin to settle back into pre-pandemic routine. 

Yet amid all this there is still much that is unknown. Many factors are still at play here and we are still in some ways tethered to this coronavirus until it is completely or mostly eradicated. 

In some psychological and even physical sense we will never be rid of the virus. Many lives have been changed and humans will carry feelings with them and others the physical repercussions of having the actual virus.  

There is also a matter of the economy and issues around racial inequality that continue to plague our nation in ugly forms. And we still have an education system that has been handcuffed and the education of many youth has been stunted. 

Our hope lies in the new president and his staff to forge a new way and provide not only relief but more importantly belief that our United States of America can once again be united and a positive force in the world.

As far as the world is concerned we all hope in future months ahead that travel restrictions will be lifted and the world can reunite in a way that brings joy to vacationers and profit to the tourism industry and boost the economy of all countries.

In light of all that has happened, is happening and will happen we still have ourselves to care for and self-care starts with your feelings. I recently read about emotional brain training. In other words we have the power to create a resilient brain through to power of our emotions. It turns out positive thinking is not all it's cut out to be and stress can make us stronger. It is by using our emotions to we allow ourselves to clear the stress. Our lives are coded in ways that are learned in the first few years of our life. Thus this programming comes back in times of stress because it is what we know, and all we know. Like emotional wires that are there unconsciously and guide our reaction to trauma and stress even if it does not help. By having an emotional cleanse when you feel stressed you can reprogram your brain to learn techniques to help you sort out the feelings and bend them to your will. The will to use these moments as emotional training and rewiring your outcomes to be positive. It is best explained in this article from psychology today:

"In a few minutes throughout the day give yourself an EBT "mini-emotional cleanse" by using the technique of the method. Start off by complaining about the situation (e.g., All this information about vaccines and testing is stressing me out) and then, express some healthy anger. Anger is essential because it is only when we become highly stressed that we unlock the unconscious expectations that are "stupid" or "unreasonable" in our unconscious mind, and make them "smart" or "reasonable."


It's a natural cleansing process as after anger, you can flow through a few negative emotions (sadness, fear, and guilty) and be rewarded by intensely positive feelings (grateful, happy, secure, and proud).

In those few moments, you have a complete reset of your emotions, drives, thoughts, and sensations. And, you have updated your brain so your unconscious expectations are smarter and more reasonable, which decreases your stress. Last, you will feel a surge of dopamine and endorphins – and the emotion of joy."

 For further reading on emotional cleansing click this link emotional-cleanse

Day 284

 December 19, 2020

A December to remember. Well, more like a year to remember. Nearly all of the year 2020 has been marred by the coronavirus outbreak and subsequent pandemic which has handcuffed the world and now taken over 1.6 million lives. As we grow closer to the end of the year we are inclined to reflect on the recent past and even sometimes the station that is our current life.  If you are alive and reading this, then in one way, it is a wonderful life. 

The iconic holiday film "It's a Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed and my favorite film noir femme fatale, Gloria Graham tells the story of all of us as we exist though the trials and triumphs of our lives. The film, produced in 1946, was initially a flop and when its copyright was not renewed it was broadcast for free and began airing frequently during the last few weeks of the year and thus became a holiday tradition. (NBC owns its rights and airs it every Christmas eve)

Jimmy Stewart was a WWII fighter pilot in the Army Air Corps and flew some 20 combat missions. Upon his return to Hollywood It's a Wonderful Life was his first film and since he was still grappling with the traumatic experiences of war and feeling of loss fellow pilots his emotional scenes where his character, George Baily, is breaking down and crying are all very real. 

The movie is about loss and pain and everyday failure and how many humans sometimes feel like they are at the "end of their rope". George Bailey turns to prayer and the answer to his prayer is an angel named Clarence who goes on to show George how wonderful his life really is even amidst the struggles and setbacks he has endured. As we all reflect on our lives, particularly this past year and how the pandemic has shaped and misshaped our living, consider all the wonderfulness in your life.

Beginning with life itself. Each and every day is a new opportunity to see, act and hope. 

See all the beauty life has to offer you, beyond the seasonal lights, there is natural beauty (like last nights moon) and imperfect beauty (the human body and its intricate workings).

Act in a way that manifests your deepest desires for love, joy and self-worth and then act as if every human you interact with is someone of value. This mortal life is fleeting and frail and we must not forget our time on this earth is limited. Cherish yours and the lives of others.

Hope for all of your wishes and keep hoping (and praying-if you are disposed to do so).

Never let the light go out on your dreams. 

Even beyond this life. Your memory will live on in others. 

Take this time to recall those souls which touched us and moved us in ways we will never forget. 

The dearly departed are with us still in our heart of hearts.

Loved and preserved. 

For the eternity of our lives they live on.

And let us recall the people, we may not know, but we are linked with indelibly everyday as we proceed through these challenging times. The essential workers. Those in day care and nursing homes. Those doctors and nurses caring for our brothers and sister struck with COVID-19. The grocery store workers and all those who continue to supply us with our daily needs. They are amazing humans doing what it takes for all of us to see this through.

May this years end bring you joy and tears and hope 

in a way that inspires you to endure and be more human than you ever thought possible. 

To care and love and cry.

To live and love and laugh.

To be alive.

Day 242

 Saturday November 7, 2020

The days are shorter, cooler and consistently more fall-feeling. As Maren would say it's sweater weather. She says this as an inside joke because I love sweaters. Here is a photo from 2012 during the filming of Sane in 1974. I am also sporting a moustache. This is November or Movember (which asks men to grow a moustache as a reminder to bring awareness to men's health)

I recently heard from my friend George that he has prostate cancer. He has some tests coming up that will help determine which steps to take (surgery, radiation treatment, etc.) He sounded encouraged that it could be controlled. I think about him and hope to visit with him soon. This pandemic is really making travel difficult. It is once again the fear of the unknown making simple decisions more strenuous.  This is, for many of us, the current reality. Each day brings with it a level of anxiety and uncertainty we are typically not accustomed to.  However with the pandemic going on for as long as it has (hello, day 242) this everyday anxiousness has become common. Simple tasks like going to the grocery store or work bring out some feelings of stress. As the number of infections continues to rise all across the globe we continue to feel the pressure. In some sense, we will all be lucky to escape this pandemic without being infected. For some nearly 50 million people who have been infected it has been real and for the 1.2 million who did not survive we mourn. The road to recovery can be long. I spoke with a person the other day who said a friend was infected in March and is still dealing with the effects of the virus.  Some reports say you may never recover to full capacity in an article from Hackensack Meridian Health, "For some who recover from COVID-19, symptoms like fatigue, shortness of breath, muscle pain, confusion, headaches and even hallucinations are among the growing number of issues survivors face following the illness." In the U.S. many states are seeing an increase in reported cases. In Colorado, the governor has issued a be home by 10:00 PM curfew to help slow the spread. 

On November 6th there were 132,540 new cases. Now onto some political news. It is not official, but it appears we will have a new POTUS beginning in January.  The polls are closed and the counting of ballots is still occurring. Presidential candidate Joe Biden is close to having the 270 electoral votes he needs to secure the win. He spoke last night and was eloquent and honest. He was a calming voice in these troublesome times. Our country is divided and may continue to be so until the new administration can completely move into the White house and begin to make the necessary changes for the healing of our country and it's people. We are hurting. We are a proud nation and sometimes that pride gets in the way of being human. It prevents us from thinking rationally and our actions can be downright unfathomable. There will be an announcement any day regarding the election results and already businesses in many major cities are boarded up in anticipation of riots and vandalism.  What kind of nation are we that we have to perform acts of violence and the defacing of public property over a decision made by a democratic society? The United States is in pain. We have been put through four years of unrest. Social unrest, civil disorder and a nation divided on important topics including the one to keep us all safe. And as I am writing this the Associated press has called the election. It is official Joe Biden has defeated Donald Trump to become the 46th president of the United States. 

And all I can say is Here we go America.