Day 347

 It is February 20, 2021

Recently when conversing with people about 2020 many have said the time since March 12, 2020 (the day the pandemic became official) has either been in slow motion (2020 felt like forever) or it has sped up (where has the time gone?). This concept of time is one we are familiar with. We keep track of it with clocks, watches and calendars. We know it has ties to space (the moon revolves around the earth) and yet we often do not understand it. The mystery many times is the question of where did the time go?

The general theory of relativity says time began some 13.7 billion years ago when all matter was crammed into one very small dot.  And if theory holds true further development of space may cause the universe to collapse and we would find ourselves inside that tiny dot again. That would truly signal the end of time.

But until then time ticks on...

Besides age we rarely know what happens when time passes. We use events in our life to gauge time such as birthdays, weddings, births and deaths. 

Maybe we ought to pay less attention to it. This article from Discover Magazine tells us many scientist are not sure time even exists. The Arrow of Time

 "According to a theoretical physicist, Dmitry Podolsky, now working on aging at Harvard University, and Robert Lanza from Wake Forest University explain how the arrow of time — indeed time itself — is directly related to the nature of the observer (that is, us)."  They theorize that time is not ticking away ("the moments that make up the dull day"-Pink Floyd) but instead a real property that is subject to the perception of the individual and their ability to preserve events in their life. 

So if we could observe the future we could see ourselves how we wish to be instead of always remembering how we were (thus giving power to time) 

Look five years into the future and see yourself.  Better yet have a conversation with your future self. 

Find out who you want to be and how you got there. Benjamin Hardy, says "You need to learn to want and focus on what your future self wants. You do that by imagining and thinking now about who you want your future self to be." 

Most people are fixed in their desires and see themselves as a person who cannot change (like a personality test or a horoscope tells us what kind of person we are) This fixed mindset does not allow for growth, let alone change. Abraham Lincoln said, "The best way to predict the future is to create it"

Many of us want change in our lives, but simply do not know how to acquire it. The key is looking at your future and understanding that your outcomes depend upon your desires. If you change your current desires to reflect your future outcomes you will begin to see yourself as the person you want to be not the person you are. 

According to Dr. Daniel Gilbert, “Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they are finished.”

I realize as I finish my blog today it is not really a blog about the pandemic. and I am okay with that because my future self is no longer wallowing in the frustration and depression of a pandemic world.

My future self is free to choose my feelings, desires and ultimately create my outcomes no matter what is going on in the world around me. Life still continues...pandemic or not. 

An old proverb says, time waits for no man (or woman), but I say your future is waiting for you.

See it now and you will be it in the future.

Good Luck.

Day 333

 Today is Saturday February 6, 2021

The vaccination distribution for the coronavirus is underway. We currently have two versions in play and a third, Johnson and Johnson is pending FDA approval. The world is being inoculated as we speak albeit at a slower pace then we had hoped. Partly due to the demand being more than the supply. 

The procedure of getting people scheduled and vaccinated takes time, people, money and vaccines.

This chart shows the numbers in the US. 

The CDC recommends who ought to be vaccinated and then each state creates their own version of it. 

Currently in Colorado educators were moved up the list along with the 65 and older group. Both are set to begin receiving their first vaccine on Monday February 8th. How long the process will take remains to be seen. 

Nonetheless, the creation of a vaccine and current US presidency gives hope for all Americans to begin to see a light coming through what has been a long dark tunnel. Many school districts are considering a model of full in person teaching and businesses are opening in the 25-50% capacity range. The latest news on another stimulus check comes with mixed feelings, but I imagine most people will gladly welcome the funds even as a way to give reparations for the hardships and discomfort the public has had to endure. Though many who are living paycheck to paycheck see it as security and a peace of mind they have never had. 

The president is being generous with his power. With his ability to lead. And with his genuine care for the well being of the people who inhabit the nation he guides.

The current president, Joe Biden, has shown concern and has taken measures to provide assurance to the people.  Most importantly, he has shown them attention.  It is this attention that is giving people a feeling of hope. A feeling we have not felt in some time.

The French philosopher and writer. Simone Weil, wrote, "Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity". 

Simone Weil, was born in Paris in 1909, swiftly became a writer (although her work was not published in book form during her lifetime) and advocate for the oppressed within society. Using the essay as her tool as well as her servitude in the front lines (she once spent a year working in Parisian factories to better understand the oppression of unskilled female laborers). Through her writing and actions she was able to be a great voice for the voiceless and continued to stand with those who would be crushed under the boot heel of the capitalism.

For more on this amazing women, whom author Albert Camus said she was, “the only great spirit of our times” click this link simone weil

The world in general seems to be trending in the right direction even though some variant strains of the virus are a cause for concern. Most experts believe the vaccine will cover the variant as well. And early results seem to show the vaccines are robust and helping. Death totals are dropping, but whether or not the vaccine can actually stop the spread is undetermined. 

Much still is unknown as to how the vaccine will ultimately affect COVID-19 and the pandemic. 

When that word is lifted from our daily vernacular we will all celebrate and breath (safely and possibly unmasked) a collective sigh of relief even if it is from six feet apart.

Day 284

 December 19, 2020

A December to remember. Well, more like a year to remember. Nearly all of the year 2020 has been marred by the coronavirus outbreak and subsequent pandemic which has handcuffed the world and now taken over 1.6 million lives. As we grow closer to the end of the year we are inclined to reflect on the recent past and even sometimes the station that is our current life.  If you are alive and reading this, then in one way, it is a wonderful life. 

The iconic holiday film "It's a Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed and my favorite film noir femme fatale, Gloria Graham tells the story of all of us as we exist though the trials and triumphs of our lives. The film, produced in 1946, was initially a flop and when its copyright was not renewed it was broadcast for free and began airing frequently during the last few weeks of the year and thus became a holiday tradition. (NBC owns its rights and airs it every Christmas eve)

Jimmy Stewart was a WWII fighter pilot in the Army Air Corps and flew some 20 combat missions. Upon his return to Hollywood It's a Wonderful Life was his first film and since he was still grappling with the traumatic experiences of war and feeling of loss fellow pilots his emotional scenes where his character, George Baily, is breaking down and crying are all very real. 

The movie is about loss and pain and everyday failure and how many humans sometimes feel like they are at the "end of their rope". George Bailey turns to prayer and the answer to his prayer is an angel named Clarence who goes on to show George how wonderful his life really is even amidst the struggles and setbacks he has endured. As we all reflect on our lives, particularly this past year and how the pandemic has shaped and misshaped our living, consider all the wonderfulness in your life.

Beginning with life itself. Each and every day is a new opportunity to see, act and hope. 

See all the beauty life has to offer you, beyond the seasonal lights, there is natural beauty (like last nights moon) and imperfect beauty (the human body and its intricate workings).

Act in a way that manifests your deepest desires for love, joy and self-worth and then act as if every human you interact with is someone of value. This mortal life is fleeting and frail and we must not forget our time on this earth is limited. Cherish yours and the lives of others.

Hope for all of your wishes and keep hoping (and praying-if you are disposed to do so).

Never let the light go out on your dreams. 

Even beyond this life. Your memory will live on in others. 

Take this time to recall those souls which touched us and moved us in ways we will never forget. 

The dearly departed are with us still in our heart of hearts.

Loved and preserved. 

For the eternity of our lives they live on.

And let us recall the people, we may not know, but we are linked with indelibly everyday as we proceed through these challenging times. The essential workers. Those in day care and nursing homes. Those doctors and nurses caring for our brothers and sister struck with COVID-19. The grocery store workers and all those who continue to supply us with our daily needs. They are amazing humans doing what it takes for all of us to see this through.

May this years end bring you joy and tears and hope 

in a way that inspires you to endure and be more human than you ever thought possible. 

To care and love and cry.

To live and love and laugh.

To be alive.

Day 179

 When I wrote in my blog last week the world had reached 25 million cases of coronavirus and 847,000 deaths. In one weeks time we have transmitted and verified 1.9 million more cases, but unfortunately only a few thousands deaths. The total stands around 880,000 on Sunday afternoon. 

It is safe to stay nothing has changed. Last night on our way to pick up dinner we saw many people walking around the streets on their way to here or there. A bar/club we passed had folks spilling out the door and waiting in line. Mostly people under 30. Most were wearing masks, but who know what the situation was inside. With people drinking I highly doubt they are masked. I have no idea of the ventilation in this place. This is happening all over the world. The youth of today spreading the death of tomorrow. Since the re-opening of college campuses. 

"many across the country have seen an increase in coronavirus cases in recent weeks as students return for the fall semester. The potential spread of the virus off-campus has deeply affected workplaces, schools, governments and other institutions in local communities. In the U.S., at least 51,000 coronavirus cases and at least 60 deaths from the virus can be traced to American colleges and universities..."

The U.S., Brazil, India, Argentina and Spain continue to be hotbeds for the virus.  This chart explains the last seven days.

 With Brazil and the U.S. having over 250,000 new cases in one week it is awfully apparent neither country has leadership tasking the pandemic seriously. The lack of control in the U.S. is rampant as the numbers indicate. In the case of India (with over 550,00 new cases in one week) it is a matter of space and population. There is no place for the people to go, to quarantine to stay socially distant. 

We are currently in a remote school system where all kids are home and staff are either teaching from home or from their classroom. The school hallways are eerily quiet. On Friday, Maren was one of only three adults in her building. We are anticipating a switch to a hybrid format in the middle of October. All the details of this change have not yet been shared with staff and we are still a month away.

A lot can change in a month. I heard Colorado is the second highest tourist destination in the U.S. for Labor day weekend. First is Orlando, FLA.

"So, life goes..and so, I go...carry on my brother" -Neal Cassady (of the famed beat generation)

As Billy PIlgrim in Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five repeats each time he sees a person deceased, "so it goes"

And although this Billy Joel song is about loss of love. Some may say "loss is loss"...

Billy Joel- And so it goes

Day 172

 Sunday August 30, 2020

A year ago not many people would have imagined the condition we currently find ourselves in. The novel coronavirus which became COVID-19 and officially became a pandemic on March 12, 2020 has infected over 25 million people and has a death total nearing 1 million (it is around 847,000 as of today). India now has the fastest-growing coronavirus caseload of any country in the world, with more than 75,000 new infections per day. In the past week, India has reported nearly half a million cases.

Yet the world and all its inhabitants continue to disagree on very important issues such as mask wearing and social distancing.  The two most important defenses against a virus primarily spread through human transmission. I suppose people are either uninformed of the virus and how it is continually spreading or very opinionated about their rights not to help themselves and fellow Americans. There is hope for the "all saving vaccine" soon, but I imagine even that will be met with both controversy and repudiation. 

The United States is in the middle of a presidential election (November 2020) as both the Republican and Democratic conventions recently wrapped up. The nation is also still protesting and calling for social justice as police officers continue to make grave mistakes when confronting citizens even after the killing of George Floyd in May turned the country on its end. There are struggles in most major cities around both the control of the virus and social issues regarding civil rights and police enforcement. In Denver this week police ransacked homeless encampments and made several arrests.  My friend Peter shot this video of one of the raids.Denver Police raid on homeless encampment

Many major sporting events were cancelled due to the recent shooting of another black male, Jacob Blake, by a white police officer. The shooting led to protests and rioting which eventually resulted in a civilian shooting two protesters. 

In Portland, Oregon the protests against police brutality and racial injustice have gone on for three months and last night a group of protesters clashed with a Trump rally and one person was shot dead.

Our society is desperate for leadership on so may levels beginning with the top, but also at the state and local levels. 

When will this hell on earth end? Will the eradication of COVID-19 (whenever that happens) be enough to regulate the world? The anger and hatred will still fester. Changes in our world societal systems are needed. In a conversation with friends recently, someone mentioned the feeling of solidarity of around the world after 911. For a short time we felt the pain and the human suffering deep inside our hearts and every man, woman and child mourned the loss of life in a tragic event.

The terrorist attacks that September day manifested changes in the airline and travel industries. Are these tragic moments we are witnessing, although not on the same scale but still inhumane, not enough to evoke the changes we need to see social equality and more humane treatment of impacted people.

“The time of a man's life is as a point; the substance of it ever flowing, the sense obscure; and the whole composition of the body tending to corruption. His soul is restless, fortune uncertain, and fame doubtful; to be brief, as a stream so are all things belonging to the body; as a dream, or as a smoke, so are all that belong unto the soul. Our life is a warfare, and a mere pilgrimage." - Marcus Aurelius

 

Day 158

 Today is Sunday August 16, 2020

With the beginning of our 2020-21 school year starting officially and virtually this Tuesday I will be blogging only on Sunday. It will be an account of the events which occurred during the week. So friends enjoy today and we'll see you in a week. 

The pandemic continues to handcuff us in many ways, but we were able to enjoy pedicures and dinner out at La Cueva tonight. It is a pleasant break from the mundane when these small victories occur, but this pandemic always in the back of our minds, feels at times, never-ending.

Yesterday marked four years since we lost our beloved cat Cassady. How fast the time flies? Or does it? The six months of this pandemic are not flying by.

Which brings me to the concept of time. What is it really? It's truly something to wonder and a mystery that has evaded humankind for...well,.. all time. Are it's only constraints are the clocks we use to keep it? What would life feel like if we didn't keep time?  Would day and night have a difference besides the light the sun provides?

We have heard the expression before; time is of the essence. And it is an ever-relevant expression because time only travels in one direction, forward. So it is essential we utilize the time we have as it does run out for each of us at some point. Time can feel slow or fast, nonetheless it moves on in its relativity. 

According to young science journal, 

"Newton believed that the nature of time was independent of our existence; time has and will always exist." But then along comes Einstein and this,

"Einstein’s fundamental principle regarding time — there is no ‘right answer’, as there is no absolute conception of ‘now’ in absolute time and space. Einstein turned the whole concept of time on its head. The implications of his theory of having no absolute frame of reference changed the way physicists looked at the world, forcing them to renounce their Newtonian beliefs. If there was no concept of ‘now’, then the actions you perform tomorrow, and the days after that, already exist. The future becomes predetermined."

Put that in your pandemic pipe and smoke it!

(Shout out to Gandalf and middle earth fans everywhere) 

This is where the subconscious mind comes into play. Projected thoughts on what your future will be can be manifest by said thoughts and correct decisions made at the right time in your future. The universe will draw to you the opportunity to achieve your goals, the goals you crave with unwavering desire and continually work for, if only you see the risk and seize it. Because most people allow fear to prevent them from reaching their goals. They "live in quiet desperation" as Emerson said.

Earl Nightingale, a purveyor of positive thought, had two goals in life. One was to discover the secret to success the other was to write books. From a young age he wanted to know what made some people rich and others poor. (He grew up poor in Long Beach, California) You can read about his story here: https://www.success.com/earl-nightingales-greatest-discovery/

He discovered the secret in the words written by Napoleon Hill, in the book Think and Grow Rich. The words were "We become what we think about"

He went on to write books, the most famous of which is called The Strangest Secret. Aptly named because, he pondered, how could such a simple truth not be known by the vast majority of humans?

He concluded and observed that most people spend their time thinking about what they don't have (complaining) or once had (reminiscing). Instead they ought to be conjuring up their successful future (predetermined or not). 

Day 156

 Today is Friday August 14, 2020 In recent coronavirus news. According to the Washington Post, "On Wednesday: The United States recorded the most covid-19 deaths in a single day since mid-May, nearly 1,500 fatalities. "

This seems nearly unfathomable to me. How can people, six months into a pandemic, read this and continue to venture out without masks and refuse to social distance.  Do these imbeciles not realize that they are perpetuating the virus spread? Today I heard a story about a restaurant in Kankakee, Illinois where every patron and employer were unmasked and the place was completely full. Un-fuken-believable. Where is the common sense? The concern for self and others. 

I recall, years a go, seeing a bumper that read Slap the stupid people. 

 

So it goes. On and on. It is increasingly frustrating for me to read these increasing numbers then hear/read stories like the restaurant in Kankakee and have faith in human kind.  

So I would like to talk about Marcus Aurelius and his writings. Aurelius was a Roman emperor from 161-180 and the last emperor of Pax Romana, a long period in Roman history known for peace and stability. He was a philosopher of stoicism, a belief system based on personal ethics and driven by logic and natural laws. The philosopher wrote, “The longest-lived and those who will die soonest lose the same thing. The present is all that they can give up, since that is all you have, and what you do not have, you cannot lose.” This is included in his writings under the title Meditations, a source of writings on Stoicism still praised centuries after his death.

The stoics, with their radical view of ethics, had a goal and that was to live their best life.

They strove for self-discipline and an acceptance of all things present.  They were mindful before it was cool. Virtuous and fair they were read by many great minds of history such as George Washington, Walt Whitman, Frederick the Great, Immanuel Kant and Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Kant, a German philosopher, seeking to define enlightenment often referred to the latin phrase Sapere aude which can be loosely translated as "Dare to be wise"

If only some of us dared more often.

Day 155

 August 13, 2020 

We are on our fourth day of remote professional development and my head aches, my eyes burn and my brain is fried. 

The district is front loading our cerebral cortex with massive amounts of information. The information is worthwhile and will be immediately applicable to our remote teaching term.

The part of it that is most difficult is staring into a computer screen for hours and having little time to process the data before the next training.  And we begin direct online instruction next week. 

When I was choosing a major for college I knew I did not want to be in a cubicle or desk job. And certainly not chained to a computer. It is utterly depressing. I do not know how people do it.

I chose physical education because I wanted to move and be on my feet. Which I have been joyfully doing for 25 years.  Although last spring the pandemic slowed everything to a grinding halt.  The Cure sing a song called Grinding Halt. You can listen to it here:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8el7sMurPYw

The numbers in the pandemic are rising every day and nothing appears to be able to slow its progress (or we are just not trying hard enough) The current number of daily cases in Colorado appears to be on the decline since a mask ordinance was put in place in late July. Here a map and some numbers for Denver County, the largest county, and where we currently reside.

   

We shall see what the numbers look like in October as our school quarter comes to a close and once again the board of education will decide which model to proceed with.  The models are remote, hybrid, cohort and in-person.  I just heard recently that the entire state of New York is going to reopen in September with a unique plan that falls in line with safety considerations as well as district discretion. WKBW in Buffalo reported recently saying, 

"New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced schools in New York State will reopen in September but with some stipulations.

Instead of using a "one size fits all" plan, the Governor said reopening plans are being approved on an individual basis by the NYS Department of Health.

"Remote education, a blend, half-day, quarter-day, a third day . . . that is all up to their discretion," said Cuomo."

This is of interest to me since my sister and two nieces are all in the education field and my nephew is in middle school.  The stress all educators and probably many children and parents are feeling right now is paramount.  Over the last few days, as I have planned for the upcoming remote quarter of teaching, this pandemic-pain-in-the-ass has really hit a nerve.  It is not that I forgot it or was in denial, but being in a pandemic over the summer was just a big fun-sucker.

And yes we were remote in the spring, but it was mostly access based instruction and it was more about helping children and families cope while we ourselves dealt with the sudden reality of online instruction.  This new year comes with rigor and accountability and evaluation and new learning. Tons of new learning.  Of course, all us educators are in this together.  We are all sailing the ship called COVID-19 into uncharted waters, but dang if it sometimes doesn't feel like you were stranded on a deserted island and all you have is computer! 

Day 151

 Sunday August 9, 2020 

Drinking coffee in the backyard of this current life is peaceful. It is settling and unsettling all the same. It is usually quiet. I am usually alone. I am usually mindful.  Those are all the entities that create peace for me. It is my world inside the world, but it is the world itself that is unsettling. 

The pandemonium of the world is unsettling.

Since the pandemic began I have been, for the most part, confined to my home.  And since it all began in the spring, naturally, the backyard became a place to go.  The outdoor living room if you will.

So it is with great discord that I find myself here both in the backyard and in this pandemic.

One by choice, one by circumstance.  It is the circumstance that is the hard pill to swallow.

But if I have learned anything during this time of isolation from the outside world, it is the gift of slowness.  The idea of leisure and the certainty that life often moves too quickly, for all of us has opened my eyes to a new love for doing nothing and being alright with it.

  We ought to slow it down. We ought to embrace life as it ticks by, each second piling up into minutes, jamming into hours, squeezing into days and culminating into years.  Becoming our lifetime.  But time's arrow only moves forward.  We cannot go backward into the stream of time.  Only forward.  And where are we headed?  Well, at the risk of sounding morbid...death. 

Or as David Byrne would sing, "We're on the road to nowhere.."

Is that not what death is; nowhere? (to us agnostics anyway)   In the time of the pandemic when life has slowed down we are being reminded to enjoy the little moments.  

Enjoy the small pleasures. Enjoy every tiny task. 

Enjoy the mundane routine of waking and living. Simply said, enjoy being.  Time has not, in fact, slowed down, only we have and that is a good thing.  In his book, In praise of slowness, Carl Honore states, "Inevitably, a life of hurry can become superficial.  When we rush, we skim the surface, and fail to make real connections with the world or people."  This shift to relaxing and enjoying our homes albeit due to stay-at-home orders and a potentially deadly virus is a shift towards clutching the now and holding on to it. Carpe diem has made a comeback in an odd sort of way.

Indeed, seize the day and every minute of it.  See the sun coming in through your window or feel the rays streaming through the trees in your backyard.  Listen to the birds. Smell the fresh cut grass.  Taste every snack.  Be alive with the world around you and with your senses be intimate with this world. (not the pandemonium world, but the one in your home/backyard etc.)

In the words of Franz Kafka, "You don't need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen.  Don't even listen, simply wait.  Don't even wait, be quite still and solitary.  The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked.  It has no choice."

 Some day the masks will come off and distance will be shorter than six feet and that is when time's arrow will once again fly at full speed.  Still ahead and still towards your one and only demise.  

My hope is that you are late for this rendezvous. 

Day 144

August 2, 2020

Yesterday I wrote a piece on grit.  Grit is something we all need, certainly in the time of a pandemic but also when dealing with everyday life.   On Friday I was in an auto accident in which I was uninjured.

The accident, as many do, came out of nowhere and since the driver of the other vehicle ran a red light. I did not realize what was happening until impact.  Then in some sort of slow motion recall I remember being thrust around and my car spun in a 360.  It was now facing the direction I had come from and still running.  I shut the car off and after a quick assessment of my physical self I began looking for my phone.  My cell phone had been catapulted during the accident and eventually found a resting place under the passenger seat.    

It occurs to me now this insane obsession to our phones as I had little concern for the other human in this situation, but rather the determination to locate the cellular device that links me to...what?  I glanced a the other car a few times and saw movement.  Before I could even exit my car a pedestrian asked me if I was OK? I answered yes and he returned with, "well not in the long run" referring to the upcoming hassles of dealing with everything related to being involved in an accident (Police, insurance, cost, loss, etc.). 

After finding my phone I immediately called Maren then walked over to the other vehicle to find no one there.  The accident occurred at the intersection of Hudson and Colfax where a Circle K gas station sits on the northwest corner.  Many folks were standing around and saw the driver of the other car run away.

The fire department rescue truck showed up within minutes and asked me a few questions to help determine my current mental condition .  Who am I, where am I, what day it was, who is the president? Who is the president? Is that a standard question for accident/concussion protocol?  I remember making a face and saying "Trump" with some chagrin.  Thirty-seven minutes later the police showed up in the form of a civilian crash investigation van.  Garry, the officer,  then had me fill out an accident form describing my account of what happened.  He spoke to one witness John who was nice enough to hang around and speak to the officer. He ordered a tow for the other car as we called our insurance company to arrange for the pick-up of my 2005 Jeep Wrangler which now looked like this.

The other vehicle had Utah plates and when he did some investigation found out it was stolen out of Castle Rock, CO.  So it would make sense I suppose for the driver to run away.

I can only imagine he had a myriad of problems the first of which he was driving a stolen car.

After getting all my personal belongings from the Jeep and finishing up with Garry.  The Jeep was towed away and we went home.  I took a long nap and then did some thinking about mortality, fate and the universe.  I was on my way to meet Jim Ajemian for coffee and the phone app told me to turn onto 14th avenue one block before the intersection of the accident. I found that odd so decided to go straight.  Straight into destiny? Was the app giving me a clue? Was that the universe speaking to me? God? After traumatic events, especially ones in which fatalities occur, we often ponder the mysteries of life.  The whys and hows of our fleeting lives.

This thinking can often be morbid as we wonder the what ifs or possible alternate endings to the moment.  It made me think how suddenly things happen and how in any second you could lose much of what we take for granted including the most precious of all, our very existence.

It made me think of the control we have or maybe don't have when it comes to these moments.

I have always been a believer in the philosophy that says we can guide or lives and manifest our dreams into reality with positive thinking and sustained focus.  But what of these occasions when tragedy strikes? We surely are not manifesting these moments.  Could we be manifesting the avoidance of the fatality that could have occurred?  Could we, by having hopes and schemes and plans and dreams, be solidifying our place on earth for the purposes of reaching those aspirations?  Then what of the dreamers who left too soon?  Or was it their destiny to be cut short of time for the rest of us to learn from?  

For a number of years now I have been leaning towards an existential view of life.  The existentialist believes in freedom of choice and development of the individual's purpose of life through the rational actions in an irrational world.  Not governed by laws of nature.  We can make life be what we want it to be.  "I think therefore I am" the words of philosopher René Descartes are unique to existential thinking.   They ought not be unique to all of us as we navigate this journey we call life.  Think and be.  Believe and become.  Our mind tapping into the powers of universe can guide us to places we want to be or not be.  How critical are those little moments when we go "left" instead of "right"? Only we can decide if we are truly masters of our own fate. Or can we?

Before Storm- A Painting by Inna Montano

Day 136

Today is Saturday July 25, 2020

I have a mindful living deck of cards and in pulling a random card today I read:

"life is routine and routine is resistance to wonder" - Abraham Joshua Heschel. 

He was in touch with both god and the pitfalls of human existence. He believed the mundane and routine were things not to be taken for granted.  He implored men and women to find wonder in all things by looking deeply into life and all it offers and to find what is amazing. In these pandemic times routine has become even more, well, routine.  We find ourselves locked in to patterns of safety and precaution. We feel anxiety in moments which once were standard.  

We may feel trapped inside the figurative bubbles we have created to avoid the coronavirus. 

A virus which by the way has now infected 15 million people world wide in seven months time.  It is easy to get lost in the routine of fear and fall into the trappings of complaining about our current world.  It is understandable. We all want to go back to the way things were before this pandemic cracked our glass existence  and leaked our snow globe lives all about the place. The clean up has been difficult. 

 Even though our lives may not look the same we must mend our globes and begin to see the wonders of the world.  The wonders will never cease to exist even amidst the chaos. The earth is still beautiful and in some cases more so. Air pollution is down. Nature in a sense is thriving as we humans are putting less stress on the earth. Find in your own little corner of the world your own wonders.  

Cherish them. 

We can always enjoy the wonder that is a quiet morning outside. A bountiful hike to the hills. A walk in the park. Or a night under the stars. Life is too short to not take what is yours.  If yours is the routine of waking up and loving someone or caring for someone then let that be the most amazing thing you do.  While you still have life it is your charge to make it wonderful, amazing and less than routine. "Novelty is one of the fastest routes to creating new neural connections." - Eddie LeShure

When you perform the habits you find routine take notice of the sense of them. Smell the coffee you are brewing. Truly savor each bite of your breakfast.  Feel your muscles ache or stretch as you walk or enjoy a morning yoga suite. 

There is wonder in life.

And the fact that you are alive is a miracle.

For further thinking on this check out this article:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/7-things-mindful-

Desejo a todos o melhor- (I wish you all the best translated from Portugese)

Day 128

Today is Friday July 17, 2020

Recently Maren and I went on a hike. It was a beautiful hike near Evergreen with lots of shade and all kinds of terrain. Some parts were a dirt trail inside evergreens with scattered wildflowers, other areas were rocky stairs and some parts of the 5 mile hike were rocks made smooth by a river. We crossed bridges and streams and saw green fields. We had saw about a dozen or so other hikers along our way and each time we passed we put up our masks as did they if they were wearing them at all.  Even at an elevation of 7,000 feet we are reminded of this damnable pandemic. 

Every day is another day of massive infections and deaths. Since July 9, 2020 no less than 20 countries are experiencing increases in new cases. With the world total at 13.6 million cases and nearly 600,000 deaths and numbers still rising there appears to be no respite in the near future. No ease from the pain and suffering and fear we endure each day.  A vaccine seems to be our only hope as social distancing and mask wearing are precautions only a percentage of the world is adhering to. In the U.S. there are still roughly 11% of the population who have not considered wearing a mask. Quick...11% of 330 million is...roughly 36 million people moving about the country possibly spreading a disease which is known to be symptom free at times.  It's no wonder most countries have closed their borders to U.S. citizens. 

Because so much of the world chatter today is about the pandemic and most of that is downright negative and hopeless it only makes sense to be mindful and close yourself off from the incessant pessimism that is pervading our televisions, newspapers and digital devices. 

Got solitude?

If not, find some. Be sure each day to put aside a part of the day to be alone with your thoughts. Thoughts not influenced by viruses and projections and fears. Instead allow your mind to wander to places of joy.  Why solitude? Why not just put down the phone or turn off the telly? Because in solitude you do not talk. (if you do then there are other issues to be dealt with...but i digress)

It's the rehashing of the same pandemic numbers, problems and fears that makes us anxious. 

But in solitude we have just our thoughts.  

Thoughts we can guide to a place of peace. 

Thoughts we can control.

Poet Kahil Gibran writes in his most famous work,  The Prophet , 

"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts;
And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime.
And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered.
For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly."

Each and every day we ought to give our thoughts the power of flight. Not to be shared aloud, but kept to ourselves in the quiet moments where your head is straight and your feet are grounded.

When I am in these quiet moments I recall quotes or sayings I know to be inspiring.

I try to remember that all things pass. Present becomes past and future the new present. Things change and if we focus on the positive, the change will be positive.

The idea that I did not want to move backwards, only forwards, keeps me looking to the next opportunity to improve my current purchase.

I find, staying present and having an authentic understanding of who I am and what I can control at this moment in time, is also helpful.

Be of strong mind and plant thyself to the earth and to your faith.           The road is long.

I wish you all the best.

Day 127

In psychology today an article was written on resilience. I found it to be both uplifting and helpful during this time of trauma.  Resilience is defined as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.  Something as overwhelming and misunderstood as a pandemic can leave us hopeless and psychologically drained.  It may not be easily adjusted to as the definition states, but having the ability to recover and adjust at your own pace is important for all of us to heal and move forward. 

Resilience is built by optimism and a positive attitude along with having the ability to regulate emotions and see setback as helpful criticism thus giving us the necessary means to adapt and recover from traumatic events, ill-health and loss.  Some believe there is a predisposition to resilience, but also much is influenced by environment and circumstance particularly early on in life.  So it seems we either have it or get it by luck or fortune or serendipity, but resilience can be built up or made stronger with strategies in place.  Having health habits like diet, restful sleep and regular exercise can help build confidence and reduce stress, both factors in strengthening your resolve. Nurturing close relationships is helpful in creating a support system which one can call on in time of need.  One sure-fire way to strengthen resilience is to fail. ..wait what?

Yes failure is the great learning tool. We all fail, many times over, so being able to learn from mistakes and move forward is a key to future success and it builds resilience when we recover and adjust accordingly.  Each time we fail is another chance to succeed.      

During these trying times resilience is something we all need. It can be an important factor in making it through this pandemic with a sense of sanity and clarity for the future. Undoubtedly, this will not be the last traumatic event the world experiences. In my lifetime of 54 years I have seen war, terrorism, strikes, protests, riots, assassinations, mass murder and an array of natural disasters. We all must reach deep during these times to strengthen the inner core of our belief systems to create hope for a better tomorrow.  We must find the resolve to go on each day.  To live and thrive in this one world we have been placed with this one opportunity to create, educate and investigate.  To be searchers in a vast world of unknowns and pass on our findings to loved ones and future generations. To experience all there is to experience. To open our eyes wide to the world around us and all it has to offer. From the bottom of the ocean to the highest peaks there is beauty to behold and all along the way people to interact with and learn from and be awed by. We owe it to those we interact with to be awe-inspiring as well. To be the best we can be. 

You may not have all the answers you need right now in order to solve the crisis you are in, but by maintaining a positive attitude, relying on familial or close relationships, taking care of your health and learning from your mistakes can go along way in being the pillar of strength you wish to be and enduring through this pandemic and other life crises as they arise. 

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” - Samuel Beckett