Day 362

 March 6, 2021

"This is the end, my only friend, the end" - Jim Morrison 

I always knew one day I would end this blog. I started this blog on March 5, 2020 and I am ending it here today on the day in which I received my second vaccination shot. I am currently sitting in my living room with the chills and aches. I am experiencing a reaction from the vaccine I received eleven and a half hours ago. So after one year of battling this coronvirus and after receiving my second vaccine I am feeling something that feels like a flu. During the entire year I had no symptoms. I did not even catch a cold. 

And now here I sit. Fatigued and a bit weird. I suppose it should have been expected.

It has been a wild ride. The year 2020. Unlike any year I have ever experienced. The fear. The confusion. The uncertainty. The adaptations. The weirdness. The hopelessness. The events that occurred in 2020 beyond the pandemic (which would have been enough) shaped this year and made it one of the most tumultuous years in our history. Experts compared it to 1968. and 1918. The truth is this year was it's own. Transcending all previous history in it's own way. It became a year of loss (economic and trust), death (over 2 million to the virus alone, but we must not forget George Floyd and many other pointless deaths from corruption, racism, ignorance and terrorism). Most of all it was a year of fear and hopelessness. Humans were afraid. Afraid to leave their homes, go to work, go to school, ride the bus, have dinner outside, even go outside. Many lost money, jobs, homes, family, friends and hope. They lost hope in the ability of humans to care for each other. The first responders and essential workers aside. Many people refused to follow restrictions and many lives were lost. Many worlds were shattered and still over a year later it continues. (Some 400K new cases in the world yesterday) 

Was it inevitable? Unstoppable? 

We may never know. We can only hope we never have to face one again. But therein is where so much loss of hope stems from. What is stopping the virus from continuing or coming back next year? 

The vaccine has done it's job, but many are unvaccinated and many refuse to be vaccinated.

How and when will it end? Or will it. Jim Morrison said, "This is the end" but when I see it I will believe it. Hope exists for me. It is what I hold onto because it is important to have something to hope for. A future. A future self in which we can once again live freely. Unrestricted. Untethered. 

Boundless. Bold and free. To fly. To soar. To be every bit of human we can be. And to find [the genius and the power and the magic that boldness is] My paraphrase attributed to Goehte, but some have their doubts.

I leave you with words I did write so may years ago when hope and freedom was all I sought. 

I am undaunted with hopes to conquer. There is freedom on the tip of my tongue.

In 2021 I will hope, conquer fear and be free. Good luck to all of you. Thanks to those that read...the journey continues